I don't talk much with my brother. :(

[MegamanEXE]

Hi
So, this has always been a problem. Also, me being a living example of a socially awkward penguin doesn't help either. The thing is, I'm not a social kind of person. I'm a kind of person who doesn't ask people "How are you?", because I KNOW they're always "Fine". Hence, I always ignore unnecessary words. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. I talk a lot with my 2 brothers and my older sister. But my older brother, he's...a person I really look upto. He IS an inspiration for me. He completed his mechanical engineering from NUST a few months ago and immediately got a job at Phillip Morris. So, now stays in Sahiwal and visits us every month.

So, I AM always excited that he's coming but when he comes, I have nothing to talk about. Even in his school years, he was the only one in the house with a separate room, so he always just used to sit there. Then he got his own computer, and came from his room rarely, then university came and his laptop, he came out of his room even rarely.

We've never fought or anything and he buys me stuff too (like the scanner, for example). But I do with him what I do with most of my relatives, I can't talk. Note that it's not that I don't want to, I'd LOVE to talk and be social, but I'm not. I don't know what to talk about and every question I think of, is deemed as 'unnecessary' by my brain, just like the "How are you?" questions. I only talk a lot who share my interests (naturally) which are mostly computers and gaming and internet. Even with friends, I don't talk unnecessary, like gossip or badmouth teachers or other people.

A lot of this is also because I'm a goody two shoes. I don't 'gossip' about other people, I don't spread news which would make people lose their respect. I don't give teachers 'names'. A lot of people talk because they're always gossiping and badmouthing other people, but I don't. I'm not social.

So, what should I do? I love all my brothers and sisters but I don't know what should I talk about? It's kinda disappointing how he comes once in a month and I don't say anything. What would you do if you were in my place?

 

[Gamer45]

Try to spend some time with him or just go outside together to eat food or even watch a good movie together.

 

[TrueCoolGuy]

I also don't speak unnecessarily or talk other people's ears out. But that's mostly because I feel like nothing else has to be said.

Start a topic with your brother, any topic. Ask him something about his life, he's away most of the time so what are all those other days like. How is his work place? How was his first day at the job? Make him talk about himself, sooner or later he'll ask you something about your life. Unless he's conceited which he doesn't sound to be.

I'm sure he notices how rarely you guys talk as well. Just asking him something or trying to talk to him in general would make him want to talk with you.

 

[murtaza12]

I'm not good with this stuff but try talking about something you two have in common. Like if you two read the same books or something or play the same games.

BTW Congratulate your brother from my side.

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[metalslug1]

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[rafay22]

Hi
So, this has always been a problem. Also, me being a living example of a socially awkward penguin doesn't help either. The thing is, I'm not a social kind of person. I'm a kind of person who doesn't ask people "How are you?", because I KNOW they're always "Fine". Hence, I always ignore unnecessary words. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. I talk a lot with my 2 brothers and my older sister. But my older brother, he's...a person I really look upto. He IS an inspiration for me. He completed his mechanical engineering from NUST a few months ago and immediately got a job at Phillip Morris. So, now stays in Sahiwal and visits us every month.

So, I AM always excited that he's coming but when he comes, I have nothing to talk about. Even in his school years, he was the only one in the house with a separate room, so he always just used to sit there. Then he got his own computer, and came from his room rarely, then university came and his laptop, he came out of his room even rarely.

We've never fought or anything and he buys me stuff too (like the scanner, for example). But I do with him what I do with most of my relatives, I can't talk. Note that it's not that I don't want to, I'd LOVE to talk and be social, but I'm not. I don't know what to talk about and every question I think of, is deemed as 'unnecessary' by my brain, just like the "How are you?" questions. I only talk a lot who share my interests (naturally) which are mostly computers and gaming and internet. Even with friends, I don't talk unnecessary, like gossip or badmouth teachers or other people.

A lot of this is also because I'm a goody two shoes. I don't 'gossip' about other people, I don't spread news which would make people lose their respect. I don't give teachers 'names'. A lot of people talk because they're always gossiping and badmouthing other people, but I don't. I'm not social.

So, what should I do? I love all my brothers and sisters but I don't know what should I talk about? It's kinda disappointing how he comes once in a month and I don't say anything. What would you do if you were in my place?

Hmm..........intersting question... xD ....sab say pahlay sabsay HALKKA and POPULAR sawaal poocha karo:-
"mosam kesa tha....?" ........this is always a simple question to start with, atleast for me it is... :wink2:

I think everybody is a bit shy at meeting up with someone after a long time.....I am also, but only with relatives.

 

[HAMMER of THOR]

Well it does not matter you know, as it is how you are made. I was once an anti social cookie like you and now you can't shut me up. It was a confidence thing with me but i don't think that is the case with you and i don't think your brother is that talkative either. It is more his duty than your to do GUPSHUP with you. I only have one brother and he has been abroad for more than two years and i have talked to him about once in every two months since. An easy tip for long conversations is to have an opinion about everything and with that try to learn more about the said subject when talking to the other person like you are trying to absorb his wisdom into your own. I hate boring people though

 

[krazyhamad420]

Same here, I am also not that much social .
My cousins with whom I used to play all day when I was kid now I barely talk to them even sitting together ( I am strutter too :mushy

But with my brothers I am tottaly free ... even my elder brother is 6 year elder than me and I always call him with his name ..

 

[MegamanEXE]

Starting conversations isn't hard, but starting MEANINGFUL conversations is where I fail hard. I want to ask him question which would NOT make him think "Ye waise hi conversation shuru karne k liye ker raha hai". I really want a question which would make him think I honestly want to know, that I'm messing with him just because I'm bored. [MENTION=30489]krazyhamad420[/MENTION]
The brother in question is also 5 years older than me and I call him by his name. I stutter too SOMETIMES/RARELY, usually when I'm nervous.

 

[babarv2]

Well man Imo..
He is your brother right? So why the awkwardness huh! Just talk to him about this stuff he will help you out.
You know i the oldest brother myself.. And yeah its not easy! I wish i was the youngest..!
^_^ next time when your brother shows up.. Just catch a movie or whatever or go out..


Samsung Galaxy SIII

 

[Benighted]

I don't talk to anyone much in my immediate family.

 

[murtaza12]

Starting conversations isn't hard, but starting MEANINGFUL conversations is where I fail hard. I want to ask him question which would NOT make him think "Ye waise hi conversation shuru karne k liye ker raha hai". I really want a question which would make him think I honestly want to know, that I'm messing with him just because I'm bored.

So what books you read recently? Hey guess what! I got 10 billion kills in BF3 on Wagha Border! Stuff that you think might interest him. If you have something to ask him about engineering, start a conversation about that.



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[MegamanEXE]

Dang, forgot to mention an important thing. He has absolutely no interest in video games. Only likes F1 games and Flight Simulator. Not much movies too. This is a problem, not much common interests

Like I said, I DO look up to him, but WHAT? :crying:

 

[Moatasim333]

Bro... try to find common interest. lets say he likes to play basketball then go out get a basketball and start playing.. discuss basketball...there you go problem solved,
i know its easier said than done. but keep at it... be open and frank with him...

 

[BumperJumper]

Ok, don't call me a stalker but i do know your brother. Not like in direct contact, but i am friend to a former senior PG member here. He is still my friend on FB and he also recently graduated from NUST and got job in PMI in Sahiwal. He is a FB friend of your brother so all i had to do was add 1+1 and figure out that he is your brother .

Anyways, he doesn't seem to be anti-social to me based on his FB conversation with my friend. He doesn't look much of a gamer either and seems to have limited interest in computer/technology. Your best bet is to ask him about his life in Sahiwal. Ask him about his work, does he find it difficult, about his work timings, his fellow colleagues from work and other things like that. I am quite sure that he will definitely take interest in this conversation and you will also learn a thing or two.

 

[murtaza12]

Dang, forgot to mention an important thing. He has absolutely no interest in video games. Only likes F1 games and Flight Simulator. Not much movies too. This is a problem, not much common interests

Like I said, I DO look up to him, but WHAT? :crying:

Well then. I'll have to agree with Malik bhai. Talk about his work. How's life in Sahiwal...



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[Arkonov]

Like everyone's been saying, just ask him about his life in sahiwal and his job and whatnot, start from there.

 

[Ottoman]

I'm getting the impression you get embarrassed quite easily. Sometimes the most obvious of questions (talking about the weather etc.) kickstarts a normal relationship between two individuals. There's nothing to worry about. You just have to tweak your personality a bit and go easy around people.
Asking questions (no matter how obvious) doesn't make anybody think wrong/bad about you.

I would also strongly advise you reduce the amount of time you spend on your PC and start sitting amongst people. It helps a LOT!

- - - Updated - - -
[MENTION=24078]DarkLordMalik[/MENTION] Strange coincidence man. [MENTION=1394]MegamanEXE[/MENTION]'s brother was actually my group member in a project we did during our uni days.

 

[BumperJumper]

@DarkLordMalik Strange coincidence man. @MegamanEXE's brother was actually my group member in a project we did during our uni days.

LOL, strange coincidence indeed. In that case, maybe you can help him better since you have personally known his brother .

 

[NighteySenpai]

Ok, don't call me a stalker but i do know your brother. Not like in direct contact, but i am friend to a former senior PG member here. He is still my friend on FB and he also recently graduated from NUST and got job in PMI in Sahiwal. He is a FB friend of your brother so all i had to do was add 1+1 and figure out that he is your brother .

Anyways, he doesn't seem to be anti-social to me based on his FB conversation with my friend. He doesn't look much of a gamer either and seems to have limited interest in computer/technology. Your best bet is to ask him about his life in Sahiwal. Ask him about his work, does he find it difficult, about his work timings, his fellow colleagues from work and other things like that. I am quite sure that he will definitely take interest in this conversation and you will also learn a thing or two.

That is...just awkward.

Ask him the following questions:
-How is his work; how does his boss treat him; does he enjoy it etc. ?
-How's life in Sahiwal: Talk in detail about the weather, the lifestyle, similarities and differences between your city and Sahiwal etc.
-His hobbies, what does he do in past time.
-His living arrangements.
-Ask him what cuisines he likes. Go out with him sometime to try out a new restaurant.
-His Uni and High School days (don't ask about his bachis though).
-Why he chose to do what he does now? What intrigues him about his field?
-Any advices he has for you: consult him regarding school troubles.