Turn Your Girlfriend Into a “Joystick” with the Massage Me Controller

Atif

Ancient Philosopher
Jan 18, 2007
4,222
6
43
41
From Mars
Massaging turns into a control scheme


I bet that the title of this article has puzzled you to the point of starting to wonder if I've ever seen a joysti in my entire life. Don't worry, as I've seen plenty of controllers till now, but none of them as original as the one I'm about to describe. "Massage me" is not your average SIXAXIS, dual shock or Wiimote, as it's more of a jacket with buttons included in it.

All you have to do is massage your partner in order to control the on-screen characters. Some graduate students have come up with this idea and their invention relies on mapping controllers on wearable fabrics. There's even a website, where the inventors show a "Do It Yourself" way of creating a Massage Me controller. This clearly is a controller that will be used by couples or close friends, as I'm not sure you'll want to massage a stranger.

The wearable gaming interface embeds pressure sensors, which can sense your movements and convert them into signals that reach your console, being interpreted as commands. One of man's greatest frustrations is that a good massage has to end at some point, the only GOOD massages being those that you have to pay for. This time, thanks to the Massage Me controller, not only will you get to enjoy a good massage, but you'll also check out a neat game played by your partner.

Can anyone picture a button mashing game and a Hulk type of guy trying to massage his girlfriend? This control system involves gentle massages, which never tend to get sensual, especially if you're more keen on the game than on your massaged "victim". I'm just curios to see what console suits the system best, although it seems clear that it sounds like another Wii affair.
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Crow

Seasoned
Jan 22, 2007
3,415
4
44
Finally! A controller that lets you have sex and play games at the same time!
 
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  • C chamir44:
    My withdraw
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Reminds me of the time MS tried to charge PC gamers for online play
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    When will console companies realize this sh*t doesn't work on PC
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  • SolitarySoldier SolitarySoldier:
    doesn't change the fact that sony is extra chu this gen
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  • StrikerX StrikerX:
    Mofos sharpened a spear and shoved it up theirs and Arrowhead's ass
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  • StrikerX StrikerX:
    Sony <3
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Jeez, throwing all those sales away for the sake of PsN accounts. What a mess.
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    faraany3k said:
    I have heard that it is now unplayable in countries which do not support handful of third world countries not recognized by Sony like Pakistan. Steam is a true global platform.Then they cry that console gaming is dying.
    170 + countries where Steam sells but PSN doesn't will lose access unless they use VPN
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    It has a worst rating on Steam than last years MW3 now. Jeese Sony, how can you fuck it up THIS BAD
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  • faraany3k faraany3k:
    I have heard that it is now unplayable in countries which do not support handful of third world countries not recognized by Sony like Pakistan. Steam is a true global platform.Then they cry that console gaming is dying.
    Link
  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    How to ruin a perfectly good thing for dummies - by Sony
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    Helldivers 2 is now trending worse stream user reviews than SUICIDE SQUAD
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Good guy Gaben refunding the game way past what the policy allows 👍
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Poor Arrowhead getting screwed by Sony 😞
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Gaben ki reach hai, PSN ki nahi hai. Gaben ain't stressing over publishers who rush to his store in the first place 😂
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    Gaben ki reach nah hai :(
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    saeen I don't think the PSN teams are stressing over needing to offer hundreds of thousands of refunds lol
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    fuckin' lol
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Saeen literally glossed over the fact that PSN isn't available in those 177 countries
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    fuckin' lol
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    Helldivers 2 delisted on Steam from 177 countries
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    iampasha said:
    Alan wake 2 is yet to recover it's development costs. Due to no physical release and no steam launch.
    You reap what you sow. This is what happens when you take away choice from consumers. Even with 88% split going to developers, they can't recoup costs. Meanwhile, Helldivers 2 is a massive hit for Sony thanks in big part to Steam.
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    C chamir44: My withdraw