Random Funny Pictures (56K Warning)

[Fahad007]

nice man keep them up

 

[dejavu87]

i like the japanese photostyle lolzz

 

[dejavu87]

names dsm not dms*******

sorry bro typing mistake...no hard feelingz right?

 

[DSM1]

sorry bro typing mistake...no hard feelingz right?

yea i noe...np

 

[DSM1]

What beer is for

 

[DSM1]

Funny baby teether

 

[DSM1]

 

[DSM1]

Impact of job change

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask



Him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a



bus, went up on the footpath and stopped centimeters



From a shop window.


For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the



Driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You



Scared the daylights out of me!



"The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a

little tap would scare you so much."



The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.



Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a

van carrying dead bodies for the last 25 years."

 

[A.Rafay]

you know what , i think i`m gonna give this one a try in class

and become famous

 

[radd]

for all the wrong reasons

Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto.

Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?

Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !

ouch

 

[DSM1]

some1 else shud also post.....

 

[DSM1]

we apologize

 

[DSM1]

matrimonial ads

The Funniest Matrimonial Adz
Fisherman
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms
and clean fish.
Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph
of motor boat.

Salesman

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the
original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest
bachelor's around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one
he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!

Economist

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my
requirements are
high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not
bear too heavy
a burden upon the national interest.

Mathematician

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must
be numerate
and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to
help further
my family unit.

IT Consultant

Well there is definite room for improvement in my
life. The speed of
my current flows of information and processes is
slowing down and the
injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve
efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.

Business Man

Wife wanted for company.

Politician

I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the
ways we live, to
harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past
differences
and short comings. I believe that we the people need
someone to share
our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear
the social
responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc etc and never getting to
the point)

Car Dealer

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.
Should be in
excellent working condition.

Farmer

Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.

Lawyer

I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible
candidate for the
post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm
looking for should
be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a
girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The
girl should be
willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction
of My Lord i.e.
Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not
be sustained.
Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are
null and void in
the event of failure on our part of any kind
whatsoever

Pilot

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level
headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds,
but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for
the long haul.
And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically
sound!!!

Banker

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me
with her service

Shair(Poet)

Bari muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai

Key hum bhe shaadi shooda ho jaayeh,

Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka...............

Joh kurrey sarey sarey,

Yeah mai butaatah hoon .........

Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee
sarey sarey.

Accountant

Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse to making
unnecessary
expenditure and her very nature should be one of
generating as few
expenses in my life as possible. She should profit
from a nice
personality and be a credit to her family.

Sharabi (Drinker)

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a
drinks factory.
I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when
friends come round.
Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl
preferred who can
carry me from bar to ghar-bar(home). Meet personally
in a bar or send
drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

Mini Cab Driver

Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm
calling from
base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving
license not
necessary, but maps reading skills are a bonus.

Begga r

Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee
nahi to upni hee
dey dey, Allah terah bhalla karray, Tujhey eik key
badlay doh dey
dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!

Builder

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my
life. Must be
homely and willing to build relationship from the
ground up.

Doctor

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my
life. However if
you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine
by me.

Army Commando

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a
compass. She who
dares wins. Camouflage provided

Race Car Driver
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track
life. Must be able
to keep pace!
Astronaut

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life.
Someone to
share my universe. Must have looks that are out of
this world

 

[DSM1]

Dangerous Machines.

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he was hit and thrown to the side of the tracks, with some internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After months in the hospital recovering, he was at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly heard the tea kettle whistling. He grabbed a baseball bat from the nearby closet and bashed the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushed into the kitchen, saw what had happened, and asked the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replied, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

 

[DSM1]

TEsT

Test how steady ur hand is.... I have reached level 5
http://www.winterrowd.com/maze/

 

[DSM1]

Jokie Jokes

Pateint: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.


Husband: Raat film main ek churail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Wife: Koun si film thi ?
Husband: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !


Husband: Today is Sunday & I wanna enjoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Wife: Why 3?
Husband: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar jee: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Dumb Guy: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

 

[Fahad007]

Begum Nawazish Ali real pic

 

[JChang]

what a crap...looking guy or women.. i hate him..on TV.

 

[Fahad007]

he was a guy and he is in between Guy and Women, But he want to be women

 

[JChang]

How To Look Busy

How To Look Busy...

• Being busy with work and looking like it are two different things. Master the art of looking busy. Read on...

• Never walk without a document People with documents look hardworking. Those with nothing in their hands look like they're going to the cafeteria.

• Carry loads of stuff home with you at night to show that you work longer hours than you really do.

• If your boss catches you doing nothing official on the computer...Your best defense is to claim you're learning a new software to save money.

• Messy desk Build huge piles of documents around your workspace, only top management can get away with a clean desk.

• creen all your calls through voice mail If somebody leaves a message for pending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there.

• Look impatient & annoyed to give the impression that you're always busy.

• Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out.

• Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (I.e. 9:35pm , 7:05am , etc.)& during public holidays.

• Creative sighing for effect Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

• It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor, etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

• Read computer magazines & pick out all the jargon & new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses.

• MOST IMPORTANT -- DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!