Also, OP, if there was any shred of truth in your post:
1. It will get better.
2. Loneliness makes you do crazy things. It's OK.
3. You sound fairly rich, so capitalize that into getting other hobbies. Buy a guitar. Get swimming lessons. Learn to code.
4. Don't talk about these things with people. You will be marginalized and ostracized immediately.
5. Disassociate with your otaku roots.
6. Get better taste. There is a reason why most people think anime is revolting, it's because it's bad.
7. Feeling attracted to things you are familiar with is not abnormal. But it probably means you need a break.
8. Think about what kind of person you will become in 5 years. Do you want to be that person? Do you want that to be your life?
9. No one can tell you you are abnormal or weird. Change only if you want to.
Best of luck, and remember that there's support everywhere if you look for it in the right places.
1. It will get better.
2. Loneliness makes you do crazy things. It's OK.
3. You sound fairly rich, so capitalize that into getting other hobbies. Buy a guitar. Get swimming lessons. Learn to code.
4. Don't talk about these things with people. You will be marginalized and ostracized immediately.
5. Disassociate with your otaku roots.
6. Get better taste. There is a reason why most people think anime is revolting, it's because it's bad.
7. Feeling attracted to things you are familiar with is not abnormal. But it probably means you need a break.
8. Think about what kind of person you will become in 5 years. Do you want to be that person? Do you want that to be your life?
9. No one can tell you you are abnormal or weird. Change only if you want to.
Best of luck, and remember that there's support everywhere if you look for it in the right places.