Marriage is a different topic..And loosing someone like that literally destroys you. Speaking from experience.
Anyways I thought I'd post a serious post here for once.
I have this theory I'd like to share with you guys, tell me what you think.
Theory is, the way our society is structured right now is quite dangerous for our youth, we're stuck between following the west and being Muslims.
Scenario 1:
We live in a completely Muslim society, mutual respect for the other sex, early marriages, emphasis on education, other traditional islamic teachings.
Scenario 2: We live in a completely western society, very late marriages, sex before marriage bla bla.
And the way our society is structured is kind of inbetween those two "cultures" and as a result any path you choose is just painful.
1) Have gfs and bfs leads to inner guilt and societal pressure BUT you cant not have relationships because it is human nature.
2) Marry off your children early but then we have this misconception that marriages lead to problems with education of women because you have early children etc none of which is necessary really, you can make early marriages work if you are open minded.
SO my question is, dont you think it'd be better if we just stuck to one ideology rather than stay inbetween those two and cause unnecessary pain and suffering?
I've always been against early marriages but recently I'm really starting to see its merits, keeping genders apart for as long as we do in our society is just destructive. We may progress in material ways but as far as relationships go, the state of our society is no better than the west, men and women rarely understand each other mostly so because you dont LIVE together, you perceive the other sex as aliens in fear instead of realizing they are just like you.
I know I haven't voiced it in the best way but I hope some people get my point
A person can marry even without love.. have intercourse, children.. normal life and so forth
But i would like to Add here that the reason you witness this disruption in our society is partly because of economical break downs (Less Jobs, High competition and desperation) and mainly because people have infuriated their expectations of lifestyle (yeah il call my self made when il earn 1K+ via a job and have a 1600cc Car and a Bungalow in some hot zone at my personal expense and then il think about marriage..)
and built up a goal to be achieved before marriage to "Live Up to the society and Standards" because of this negative competition.. (Yeah, i must have a good life style and earning than him before marriage or il lose and my friends and family would curse me..)
and what actually happens is that this fantasy takes away that man's 30-35 Years , still most of them wind up not achieving it and yet losing a very important period of life when he should have kids about 10 year old kids by now.. but now he is thinking of getting married, and he does.. 20 years later when the man is 55 and now is in the verge of dropping down due to retirement his son is only 19-18 and it will take not only time (almost 5-6 years) but a whole lot of money to get him through proper education.. now the man understand what mistake he has done, that mistake is cursing him because the effects are not limited to him but his whole family.. he is at pressure now but mostly his son is at maximum pressure and that 19 year old kid is worried to death about his parents and how would he manage to get the whole Abuses will lead to banin family to rise up again on his shoulder at his age as early as possible.. as early as possible.. as early as possible and the poor kid is drifting in insanity now..
---Following is an example of a Ravaged life cycle chain^ caused by a man waiting to get rich and being late in marriage and the results are so much worst then the few starting cream years of his marriage.
what my perspective is that the man should aim to achieve his academic targets and to get a Decent job by 24-25 Max and by 25 he should get married even if he thinks he haven't got the luxuries he desire..
if a man is does achieve his targets before hand like 23 he should go for it too..
This period is the peak of a man's pubertal cycle and he is also fit and our religion also encourages to do so as soon as possible, now what really happens is that..
The man is married at 25, he'l have a boy who would see his young and fit father, they'l enjoy their life to the maximum, after a long ride of 30 years now the man is 55 and at the verge of retirement but he has no worries because he is already a grand father by now and his son who is almost 29-30 by now is made and the family is prosperous as it should be.. the systematic life cycle chain is maintained..
so my sincere message to all those who have crossed 25 and still striving for luxuries is to stop this race and get hitched. it'l be better for your Kids.
People are so afraid that how would their family survive without the proper luxuries.. my answer to that is that luxuries are what you want but not need.. if your needs are fulfilled, which can be fulfilled even if a man wisely spends on a salary as low as 25-30K in this time you can maintain a living and go forth step by step, but i would say that education should not be compromised.. the man should have Decent Professional Degree(s) before hand to be successful in long term and then experience will channel through it to make it better as time goes by. just believe in yourself by Believing in GOD and go for it!
