Dear Diary:
-Day 391 of the Mathieu Adventure Experience: Today was not a good day, we suffered all over the green fields and succumbed to many skirmishes from those aggressive denizens of the Celtics of Vigo. They came time and time again in murderous waves and our lanky pasty legs could not cope with their rampant zeal. Let us hope day 392 brings better fortune in our adventures.
PS: My cigarettes are running out. Dark days ahead.
Day 433 of the Mathieu Adventure Experience.
Tuesday the 29th of September in the year of our Lord, 2015. Outskirts of Barcelona, independent territory of Catalunya.
Dear Diary:
Today was a most horrific day. Perhaps the worst day I have ever encountered on this adventurous safari I denominate simply, "My Experience." Our day began in low spirits, owing to the fact we lost our most glorious and mythical leader to that nefarious and treacherous disease called Fever of the Left Knee. General Lionelihya Messi will be bed ridden and out of commission for up to eight weeks, I don't need to tell you, dearest diary, how depressed and unhappy we are at this most unluckiest of events.
The day then took a turn for the worst, particularly for me, when we met on the magnificent green prairies of the New Camp, those dirty, unwashed and bloodthirsty German barbarians that hail from Bayertis of Leverkusenis. Oh diary, what a miserable day they have wrought upon us on this most dreadful day. A particularly fearsome element of their clan, a Greek mercenary by the name of Papadopoupoupoupoulos of inhuman size and supernatural strength, took particular delight in pushing me aside as if he was tossing a used rag of cleaning cloth to punish our young MAtSfault. The poor lad has received grievous and unjust criticism from our party for my constant mistakes, but I cannot bring myself about to admit it is I who is failing.
I leave you now, dear diary, I must go drown my sorrows on wine and cigarette smoke. I must wash this depression away.
May the Adventure Experience bring brighter and better days tomorrow.
PS: That rascal Albasius has stolen the remaining cartons of cigarettes I had hidden under my mattress. I would confront him, but he has a most vicious temper and I fear he might sink his squirrely teeth in my soft pasty skin.
Day 437 of the Mathieu Adventure Experience
Morning, 3rd of October in the year of our Lord 2015. In hiding somewhere in the Andalusian territory of Sevilla.
Dear Diary:
I write this entry in complete despair. I have gone into exile. I cannot write more details at this moment as I am on the run, lest this diary fall into the wrong hands and my whereabouts are thus discovered. I must go now, I hear the lynch mob and hounds coming....
...5 hours later...
Dear Diary:
I have escaped persecution. My natural pale white camouflage served me well as I was able to elude my pursuers in the White Hill Towns of Andalusia. I hide now in am abandoned cave as I wait for things to cool down. I will attempt now, dear diary, to chronicle the unfortunate events that lead to this most awful of circumstances.
Fresh from that disaster against the German barbarians and my particular battering at the hands of that vicious Greek monstrosity, I had hopes that our trip to sunny and warm Andalusia would bring a positive entry in the chronicles of My Experience. Alas it wasn't to be. Those White and Red devils of Sevilla, lead by that evil slick-haired Satan called Untime Enemy, made my already difficult week a veritable hell on earth. They abused my pasty body mercilessly all day and not once, but twice did I succumb to their onslaught and committed grievous mistakes that lead to harsh punishment. So terrible was the torture wrought on me on this day that our director Enrique Luish was forced to throw in the towel to save what was left of my mutilated corpse.
Outside the skirmish fields a vicious lynch mob of Barcelonius supporters quickly formed, lead by a most savage individual I have hence come to know by the name of Alarcontis. His repeated shouts of "I HATE MATHIEU" will forever haunt my nightmares.
I will remain on the run for the time being, my hopes of moods calming down so that I may get amnesty and forgiveness for my mistakes, many and frequent that they may be. Until better times, dear diary. May my next entry into the Adventure Experience find us in better spirits and circumstances.
PS: Let there be said that I at least have no vendetta against our young comrade MAtSfault. My torture of game keepers is equal opportunity for all, as the stoic faced Bravgod found out today. At least I cannot be accused of being unfair, Mathieu is fair to all!
CREDITS: Sumlit Barcaforum :lol: