The Official PG Jokes...

TheRaja

When the going gets tough ...
Sep 27, 2011
1,383
2
43
Rawalpindi
گاؤں میں دینو لوہار نے اپنے نئے شاگرد کو گھوڑے کی نعل بنانا سکھاتے ہوئے کہا۔
"دیکھو! یہ لوہا بھٹی میں تپ کر لال ہو چکا ہے۔ اب میں اسے انی پر رکھوں گا۔جب میں سر ہلاؤں تو تم اس پر ہتھوڑا دے مارنا۔"
شاگرد نے کہا کہ ٹھیک ہے
دینو نے لوہا انی پر رکھ کر سر ہلایا اور شاگرد نے ہتھوڑا رسید کر دیا۔
لوہے پر نہیں، دینو کے سر پر۔

نتیجہ : کبھی کبھی بات کی وضاحت بہت ضروری ہوتی ہے ,,
 
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TheRaja

When the going gets tough ...
Sep 27, 2011
1,383
2
43
Rawalpindi
I’m driving with this guy, and 
he runs right through a Stop sign. So 
I say,
“Hey, that was a Stop sign.”
And he says,
“I drive like my brother!”
A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say,
“You just ran a red light.”
And he says,
“I drive like my brother!”

So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused, so I say,
“It’s green; why are you slowing down?”

He says, “My brother might be coming.”



An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
 

OldMan

nil
Mar 1, 2012
52
0
11
Lahore
Are "Yo Mama" jokes allowed?

Spoiler: show
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped for joy she got stuck.
Yo mama so fat, she a brain tumor.
Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the theater she sits next to everyone.
 

Hassan

lethargic procrastinator
Jun 20, 2009
6,520
0
41
3 miles from the nearest bus stop
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving.
The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says :
"Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
 

staticPointer

PG LEGENDARY
Dec 7, 2012
3,266
0
41
افغانستان
www.pakgamers.com
THE MENU AT A DAHI CHOLEY CHAAT SHOP ---VERY FUNNY READ TILL END. .
) Chaat-- Rs.10
2) Special chaat - Rs.12
3) Very Special chaat - Rs. 15.
4) Extra Special chaat- Rs. 18.
5) Double Extra Special chaat- Rs. 20.
6) Sunday Special chaat - Rs. 25 (Sunday only).

To check each and every chaat for its different taste, I started eating everyday a different one. . . . .
But soon I discovered that each and every one had the same taste of Chaat.
Finally one day I asked him the reason for the same taste?





Chatwala said: chaat cost. . . . Rs 10
Special chaat means spoons washed ...

Very Special chaat means spoon and plates both washed ...

Extra Special chaat means washing hands before putting the Chaat in washed plates & served with washed spoons...

Double Extra Special chaat means clean drinking water is provided separately ...


Chaat wala now looking at my face ....
Then I asked What is Sunday Special?
Chaatwala said :
"Sunday ... I take bath...!!"
 

Applesauce

This too, shall pass.
Oct 30, 2009
1,879
2
43
Karachi
When Beethoven died he was buried in a churchyard.
A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
 

exiooew

Beginner
Nov 4, 2020
25
0
1
New York
develux.com
What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Telephone
Television
Tell-a-woman. Haha, thanks for that joke. I love these threads on the forum when you can cheer up. Thanks. Guys, who knows funny jokes about sex? Maybe you heard something when you watched XXX video? Thank you all in advance.
 
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  • faraany3k faraany3k:
    I dont think games have looked any better since 2019 onwards and they are performing worse and worse. Game developers have really dropped the ball.
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Consoles can't even catch a break in titles developed exclusively for them 😢
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    "All of this lends the game distinctly last-gen look at times, which is compounded by image quality and frame-rate issues."
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    no jokes.
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    faraany3k said:
    So while Playing Control, I found a journal which said that a bathroom is missing in Islamabad Beurue of Control. With Alan Wake and Control seems to be connected worlds. Even our city is in the universe as well. No wonder those Trail 5 and Trail 6 are haunted.
    did you know you can see @NaNoW credited in the game too ? :p
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  • faraany3k faraany3k:
    So while Playing Control, I found a journal which said that a bathroom is missing in Islamabad Beurue of Control. With Alan Wake and Control seems to be connected worlds. Even our city is in the universe as well. No wonder those Trail 5 and Trail 6 are haunted.
    Link
  • EternalBlizzard EternalBlizzard:
    faraany3k said:
    What is peoples obsession with Battle Royale genre. 6 minutes to find a match, 3 minutes to setup a match, 2 minutes to land, 10 minutes for scavanging maybe 2 3 gunfigts and its over. Multiplayer landscape is looking absolute dogshit.
    I tried playing Apex Legends once. Couldn't find a gun for 5 minutes straight. If I found a gun, I couldn't find the right ammo for it. Got killed fighting with my fists. Uninstalled it the next day.
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  • faraany3k faraany3k:
    What is peoples obsession with Battle Royale genre. 6 minutes to find a match, 3 minutes to setup a match, 2 minutes to land, 10 minutes for scavanging maybe 2 3 gunfigts and its over. Multiplayer landscape is looking absolute dogshit.
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  • M muneebjahangir:
    skip the villain arc
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  • EternalBlizzard EternalBlizzard:
    iampasha said:
    I usually stay away from animes. Vinland saga changed the way i look at my life, and my experiences within. I recommend every breathing human being to watch this animated masterpiece at least once fromstart to finish.
    After I watched it, I never felt like i watched a show. It was a friggin journey. I got way too attached to Thorfinn and seeing him grow up and find himself and get rid of all the negativity inside of him was just pure bliss.
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  • iampasha iampasha:
    EternalBlizzard said:
    Vinland Saga > Berserk
    I usually stay away from animes. Vinland saga changed the way i look at my life, and my experiences within. I recommend every breathing human being to watch this animated masterpiece at least once fromstart to finish.
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Crapcom's RE Engine expose hogaya saaeen. This shit ain't worth experiencing on any platform. 🤷‍♂️
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  • Chandoo Chandoo:
    When a $399 console provides the same experience as a 4090. Yikes indeed saeen :sneaky:
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    that's a yikes saaaen
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    " Both PS5 and Series X have an unlocked frame-rate here, with performance that generally lies between 30fps and 45fps. That makes for a stuttering and inconsistent output in general play, no matter what you are doing at any given time."
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  • EternalBlizzard EternalBlizzard:
    Vinland Saga > Berserk
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  • faraany3k faraany3k:
    I absolutely hate parry and Sekiro made me love it, i hate sci fi and Mass Effect made me love it. This is the definition of genre defining experiences.
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Forbidden West Complete Edition now available on your fav websites. And Nixxes showed Crapcom how it's done 👍
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    RE Engine is just utter shit for anything other than corridor design remakes
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    This is a console first developer. LMAO
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  • faraany3k faraany3k:
    With how great cod warzone has translated onto mobile. Mainstream Consoles have lost its value even further. Maybe console gaming was associated with TVs and how TV is not the primary source of media consumption anymore, consoles will lose its 200 million core audiences even further.
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  • Necrokiller Necrokiller:
    Even VRR can't rescue it 🥲
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    faraany3k faraany3k: I dont think games have looked any better since 2019 onwards and they are performing worse and...