The Official PG Jokes...

[TheRaja]

گاؤں میں دینو لوہار نے اپنے نئے شاگرد کو گھوڑے کی نعل بنانا سکھاتے ہوئے کہا۔
"دیکھو! یہ لوہا بھٹی میں تپ کر لال ہو چکا ہے۔ اب میں اسے انی پر رکھوں گا۔جب میں سر ہلاؤں تو تم اس پر ہتھوڑا دے مارنا۔"
شاگرد نے کہا کہ ٹھیک ہے
دینو نے لوہا انی پر رکھ کر سر ہلایا اور شاگرد نے ہتھوڑا رسید کر دیا۔
لوہے پر نہیں، دینو کے سر پر۔
نتیجہ : کبھی کبھی بات کی وضاحت بہت ضروری ہوتی ہے ,,

 

[TheRaja]

I’m driving with this guy, and 
he runs right through a Stop sign. So 
I say,
“Hey, that was a Stop sign.”
And he says,
“I drive like my brother!”
A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say,
“You just ran a red light.”
And he says,
“I drive like my brother!”
So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused, so I say,
“It’s green; why are you slowing down?”
He says, “My brother might be coming.”

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

 

[Yasir Nadeem]

I don't know if it's been posted but,

Why did the console peasant cross the road ?

To render the buildings on the other side!

 

[OldMan]

Are "Yo Mama" jokes allowed?

Spoiler: show

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped for joy she got stuck.
Yo mama so fat, she a brain tumor.
Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the theater she sits next to everyone.

 

[Alveaenerle]

What's the difference between tuna, glue and piano?

Spoiler: show

You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna.

 

[Hassan]

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving.
The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says :
"Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

 

[staticPointer]

THE MENU AT A DAHI CHOLEY CHAAT SHOP ---VERY FUNNY READ TILL END. .
) Chaat-- Rs.10
2) Special chaat - Rs.12
3) Very Special chaat - Rs. 15.
4) Extra Special chaat- Rs. 18.
5) Double Extra Special chaat- Rs. 20.
6) Sunday Special chaat - Rs. 25 (Sunday only).
To check each and every chaat for its different taste, I started eating everyday a different one. . . . .
But soon I discovered that each and every one had the same taste of Chaat.
Finally one day I asked him the reason for the same taste?





Chatwala said: chaat cost. . . . Rs 10
Special chaat means spoons washed ...

Very Special chaat means spoon and plates both washed ...

Extra Special chaat means washing hands before putting the Chaat in washed plates & served with washed spoons...

Double Extra Special chaat means clean drinking water is provided separately ...


Chaat wala now looking at my face ....
Then I asked What is Sunday Special?
Chaatwala said :
"Sunday ... I take bath...!!"

 

[Cereal Killer]

Two guys walked into a bar but the third one was a duck.. :dk:

 

[Softgrip]

Very funny (lmao)

- - - Updated - - -

like this post

 

[fatima khan]

thats mean even guys tell everything to each other the thing is that they forget easily and women dont

 

[Applesauce]

When Beethoven died he was buried in a churchyard.
A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

 

[exiooew]

What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Telephone
Television
Tell-a-woman. Haha, thanks for that joke. I love these threads on the forum when you can cheer up. Thanks. Guys, who knows funny jokes about sex? Maybe you heard something when you watched XXX video? Thank you all in advance.